TabarNews Magazine - A satirical magazine

If you take it seriously .. you are not well

Johnson & Johnson's vaccine really works and also leaves your hair soft and silky

Luís Suárez disobeys Quim Torra, First hydrogel tasting, and much more ..         
26/09/2020 1085

Fernando Simón confirms that Johnson & Johnson's vaccine protects against coronavirus and leaves hair shiny and silky

The director of the health alert coordination center, Fernando Simón, announced this morning that the Johnson & Johnson vaccine effectively protects against coronavirus, as it generates an immune response of over 72% "in addition to leaving hair shiny and silky", as he has admitted, proudly, waving his hair in the wind.
 
But the good news aren't over, since the government's medical spokesperson has announced that soon the contagion curve in Spain, so far ascending, "will enter a kind of plateau according to the virus runs out of people to the to infect" with which it could finally even descend when the pathogen has already spread to each and every one of the surviving Spaniards.
 
Fernando Simón has had to shorten his appearance due to the numerous responsibilities resulting from his dedication to the health crisis, among which are recording a helicopter show for Cuatro with Jesús Calleja, posing on a motorcycle with a leather jacket for a Sunday Newspaper or going to surf to Portugal. In spite of everything, after the appearance, Simón didn't want to say goodbye without having a detail with the assembled journalists and, lowering the tone of his voice with a mischievous smile, he whispered "What if now I took this little finger and put it in ...? "
 
 
The first tasting of hydroalcoholic gels is organized in Sant Sadurní D'Anoia
 
The SARS-COVID2 pandemic has been a huge blow to many businesses, but also an opportunity for many visionaries to reinvent themselves. This seems to be the case with the Catalan brand of Cavas CondonNou, which has organized the first Cata d'Hidrogels de L'Anoia (or L'Anoia Hydroalcoholic Gels Testing), which will take place in its iconic facilities in Sant Sadurní.
 
At this event, attendees will be able to experience the different textures and viscosities of the various gels presented by expert sommeliers, from the Varon Dandy type bulk spray to the sticky dispenser at Bar Juanito, the one that with a single jet covers you from hand to elbow and when you wash your hands the next day the glycerin still reacts with the humidity and it seems that you have just applied the gel. Special mention for the pocket gels with fruity scents, whose use is expanding even more than the coronavirus itself.
 
 
Increase in cosmetic surgery operations to recover pre-pandemic ears
 
New specialties emerge every day in the aesthetic environment as a result of the change in life that the invasion of the coronavirus has brought into our lives. One of them is that of plastic surgery to correct puffed ears, a phenomenon increased by the long hours of wearing the masks. Other phenomena that have experienced great growth in recent days are self-makeup courses to eliminate the white marks left by masks on the face this summer, Fernando Simón's effigy tattooists and, curiously, Fernando Simon tattoo removers.
 
 
Several people burn photos of two little girls and their parents
 
This past September 11th, the DOI, or the Independentist Pride Day, was celebrated. On the occasion of this traditional festival exclusive to Catalan nationalists and which doesn't represent absolutely anyone else, the attendees, armed with flaming torches, have joyfully, civically and festively set fire to a giant photo of two underage girls (13 and 14 years). To give a more familiar image, the girls were accompanied in the photo of their parents, who have also been burned. After that, the attendees danced and stepped in an endearing stepping on the charred remains of the photos of the minors and their parents, in an image of peace, tolerance and respect for the family that has made many people cry.
 
 
Rajoy demands that Podemos recognize his B box and reveal "who is this P. Iglesias"
 
The former leader of the Popular Party, Mariano Rajoy, has communicated from his office as a property registrar in Santa Pola that he would very much like "that populist party you are talking me about" to recognize once and for all that the deviations the funds with which it is allegedly financed are not a one time thing, but a B Box "like the top of a pine", and he would like to know "who is that mysterious P. Iglesias who signs, because that curiosity is killing me".
 
 
Luís Suárez disobeys Quim Torra
 
The Uruguayan soccer forward has disobeyed the (still) president of the Catalan Generalitat, Joaquím Torra, by packing his suitcases and leaving for Madrid, ignoring the instructions of the nationalist leader. Torra has been upset at the disobedience of the ex-culé (now colchonero), and has insisted that Catalonia knows how to appreciate talent and courage and should not let it escape. "Too late", Isidre Fainé, president of the La Caixa Foundation, declared, "Talent and courage have been going to Madrid since September 6, 2017".
 
                   

Layetania Today: Related news