In Catalonia from a young age it's explained to us at school that Catalans have a differential "fet" (fact). The "fact" is supposed to be the language, although the funny thing is that this fact is often not specified and is simply reduced to the differential "fet". We Catalans have a something, a "fet". A "je ne sais quoi" that a French would say.
But it wasn't until this economic-health crisis that I finally wondered if we Catalans will not actually have a "something" that makes us different from the rest. Or maybe it's just about the nationalists.
Therefore, and without further ado, I'll set out the 6 "differential facts" that occur only in Catalonia but not in the rest of Spain, and that demonstrate to the entire world that Catalan nationalists are unequivocally special.
We have our own infections different from those of Spain
A lot of fuss with the blunder of the Spanish government when celebrating the 1-M demonstration, yes, but infecting the Catalans nobody wins us. The day before (29-F) our leaders put more than 70,000 nationalists on buses (the organization says 200,000), took them to Perpignan (France) very close together for several hours of travel to concentrate them in the municipality (whose population density multiplied by five) in order to adore Puigdemont, and once the virus had spread, they put them back on buses and returned them to their home towns. Yes, the WHO had already said that no more than 10,000 people should come together and the cancellation of mobile was already ancient history, but we Catalans are immune to any virus. Or almost, because 17 days later (virus incubation period) Perpignan became the main focus of the pandemic in the south of France and in the elections of a week ago the candidate for mayor of Perpignan supported by Puigdemont failed miserably and has won the candidate of Le Pen's party, which is as if in Solsona Santiago Abascal wins. Ungrateful.
We like to confine municipalities and counties
And if you don't believe me, ask in Barcelona or in the regions of Ódena or Segrià. First it was Igualada. There were very large outbreaks in the municipality and, although 12 of the buses to Perpignan (more than a thousand people) left from there, our beloved leaders said that the focus was a dinner of 40 people. And who am I to question my leaders? As in Igualada nothing was really happening and everything was very controlled so nothing was done until the entire region of Ódena had to be put under siege. Come on, more or less what has happened again in Segrià now that we have all the health competencies that we so much claimed. At least now we can blame the country workers (Oops, no! That would be racism). Well then we will blame our neighbors for the strip of Aragon (oops, neither, that we are claiming it as part of our "Catalan Countries"). What a mess. Luckily, our invaluable Health Counselor has told those affected in "the strip" not to come to the hospital in Lleida and to contaminate the one in Barbastro (Aragon), even if it's three times farther. And there's Barcelona. As we don't like the provinces, because they're a "Francoist" territorial division, we invented confinement by health regions ... until we realized that the metropolitan area of Barcelona is divided into three health areas, which we have closed ourselves in and that Barcelonians cannot go home from work and vice versa.
The best way to fight the pandemic is to raise the retirement of our politicians
And that has been understood by our "very honorable president" Joaquím Torra (first of his name), who has also included in the decree-law 7/2020 (of special measures for the fight against the coronavirus) a rise in his retirement that will surely begin to charge this September as soon as he'll become disabled for confronting democracy. But don't think that's an egotistical measure, no. Puigdemont, Mas, Montilla and even Jordi Pujol himself will benefit from the measure in the same way.
Coronavirus is the most Catalan thing
And that nobody dares to doubt it. Scientists at the UB (University of Barcelona) have shown that the fact that the coronavirus comes from China is flatly false. Some analyzes of the Prat del Llobregat treatment plant show beyond any doubt that COVID virus had already been in Barcelona a year earlier and it didn't want to spread then because it was so shy. A global impact issue that everyone talks about? By force it had to be Catalan! Sure, a lot of foreign scientists question our results, but what will they know?
We're so cool that we don't even need hospitals
So when the Spanish Army set up a field hospital in 24 hours we paralyzed it because it was green. That's what happened in Sant Andreu de la Barca and in Sabadell, since the mayors, unsupportive of them, when they saw that many people were dying, put the lives of their citizens first of "the holy nation" (incredible), but time to time... Because color is a very important issue, so instead of the (free) army field hospitals we have carried out a millionaire contract with a company of some trustworthy boys they will mount it in white (or yellow and with bows). It won't be ready in time to help, but it will be much cuter. Look at that one in the Segrià region! It's more basic than a brick and has cost one eye from the face, but it's so yellow that it makes you want to crown it with a bow. The pity is that the citizens don't understand these details and in Sant Andreu they have declared persona non grata to our eminent councilor for Salut, Alba Vergès. Shame on them!
We are always in the lead
Our President Torra was the first autonomous president to become contaminated with Covid (he announced it exactly 17 days after the Perpignan pilgrimage, let's be clear that he was not passed on by any person from Madrid). We're leaders in regrowths and the first to enjoy a second wave (and there's no doubt that we'll start September with the third). We have been the ones that have spent the fewest days in phase three and the ones that we are doing the most to return to it.
Seriously, Catalonia under the nationalist regime has something that makes it different. Or to put it another way, Catalonia has a special color.